Continued from BLOG: THE CALL (4)
Unexpected Affirmation
Others will often affirm our gifts long before we do. In minds not clouded by self-doubt and made-up excuses it is easier for others to see God moving in us than it is to see God moving in ourselves – our call affirmed before we even recognize it.
Running deep beneath the surface of an internal urge to upgrade my educational credentials was another hushed call – like the silent flow of an underground river coursing through the earth’s mantle – powerful yet hidden. The river must have hit the 
earth’s surface at some points before plunging back into the dark. Over the years I would be surprised at the comments: “I love how you write. You express yourself so well,” or “I can’t write my ideas down like you do.” And “Great workshop, great content and you delivered just like a teacher.” I was shyly pleased at the praise but uncomfortable and somewhat embarrassed in my blurted thanks.
Barely Defined Pathway
Then I received a Credit Institute award for my business communications course – highest mark in Canada. It was as if someone was laying out a barely defined pathway with only one marker visible at a time; a trail meant to lead to an unknown destination.
But all I knew was I liked to write and communicate with people – I liked it a lot. I found a quiet joy in assembling ideas and massaging language. My hope was to do it well and create a flow of meaningful words that would engage the reader, sometimes entertain, but mostly to communicate clearly ideas and bring some benefit or value to the exchange. I couldn’t tell if I did it well or not, or if I was compelling or informative or educational or anything else.
Self-doubt was the foe I frequently wrestled; we fought over my meagre literary training and the caliber of my writing skills but I finally got the beast in a head-lock and determined God was calling me to write – seriously write. It wasn’t clear the purpose or to what end. After reflecting it seemed to me I was not to concern myself with the latter. Simply put: my job was to write – this was my focus. It would be for others to judge the results, not me.
“Write the book. Do it now. Don’t wait,” a friend urged.
To be continued in the next post.
Do others see gifts in you that you are reluctant to acknowledge yourself?