An Impossible Secret
Continued from BLOG: THE CALL (1)
If felt like the impossible happened. After ten years in a business career I was promoted into management. My advancement to this level had taken twice as long as I anticipated. After graduating from university and acquiring a full-time job my goal had been five years. I landed, however, in a male dominated manufacturing industry where women in middle management were rare and barely visible at the senior executive ranks. I expected it unlikely I would ever be invited to join the latter.
I also moved into a different discipline. I had started in marketing and then moved through various sales administration posts working up to a supervisory level. The promotion to Credit Manager meant I was responsible for the credit and accounts receivable for the company’s Canadian operations.
The promotion happened in the mid-nineties around the time I was expecting my first child but didn’t yet know I was pregnant. It seemed it was a time of hidden secrets.
I was quietly told to meet my boss in a remote downstairs office next to the plant floor. In the sparse and mostly empty room I was given good news – my work was noticed; a promotion would be coming. A last instruction was not to say anything to anyone. Already practiced at being discreet my husband was the only one I told.
But months passed and nothing more was mentioned. After the cloak and dagger meeting I began to think. In my head replayed the movie scene from Mission Impossible where a secret agent receives a clandestine recording. Once the mission instruction is given the tape bursts into flames. Similar to the destroyed tape I had no proof of my promotion. I began to wonder if I had imagined the whole thing.
When I learned I was pregnant I further worried my new state might jeopardize the advancement. I wore loose clothing and stifled my excitement about the new life growing inside me. It was our first baby.
At work I didn’t dare share the happy news until one day I overheard a first speculative comment from a female co-worker. As I passed the lunch room I overheard her whisper to a colleague: “Is Carolin expecting?”
Clearly I’d pushed that envelop as far as I could – doughnut Friday’s could no longer excuse the extra weight gain. It was impossible to hide my secret any longer. I pivoted to my boss’s office, knocked on his door and made the fearful confession. Thankfully, he and the company were supportive. I left his office hugely relieved and without fuss my promotion moved forward.
When on maternity leave my boss and his wife visited to see our baby. I will never forget the decency of these people in acknowledging this monumental life-changing event.
Something Impossible is Missing
After returning from maternity leave I fully embraced the new position and loved the work but after a few years I began to feel a niggling unease. The gained job experience was excellent but always I felt there were things missing. I wasn’t sure what might 
be lacking from my tool kit of competencies.
I was an affiliate member of the Credit Institute of Canada. Established since 1928 the Institute has served as an educational body in professional credit and accounts receivable management. They are the only institution with Federal authority to grant professional designations.
In researching the requirements to become a designated CCP (Certified Credit Professional) I was thoroughly frustrated. It wasn’t so much the cost of the program – expensive but manageable – it was the time commitment that was prohibitive. My kids were young and the job was demanding. It was impossible – there was no extra time.
But the idea never left me – it would not go away and remained quietly and persistently percolating under my skin. I felt God was calling me to do this thing but I could see no practical way to make it happen.
Several years passed then a casual remark shifted the balance and quietly dropped a solution in my lap. It was such a small comment made by a young co-worker. She was talking about her studies to become an accountant.
“Yes, the company is helping to pay for my course and I’m allowed a certain amount of company time to study.”
It was as if a light came on in a previously undiscovered room laden with hidden treasure. I had never heard of the company providing this kind of educational assistance: not just money but also time. I could hardly wait to speak with my husband. Our children (by this time we had two) were gaining some independence. We had great baby-sitting and housekeeping support. What if I could negotiate a time allowance? Maybe I could carve out enough time to study.
“You might as well ask. What’s the worst that can happen?” my husband encouraged. “They can only say no.”
The next day I pitched the idea to my boss. He agreed to move it up the line. Within days I received authorization for financial support but the biggest boon was a time
Mouse Mission Impossible
allowance. What for years had seemed impossible was now within my reach. God seemed to have aligned the moon and the stars – all the necessary elements – everything I needed was present and in order.
I enrolled in my first course.
To be continued in the next post The Call (3).
What signs identify a possible calling from God?